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It never rains but it pours
Updated: 27-Sep-2002
As you may remember, it rained, and rained, and rained. As it did last November, for the Skins golf tournament at Vale do Lobo, and the more recent Portuguese Open, also at Vale do Lobo. It seems that there is a mischevious gremlin somewhere who does not like the Algarve, or does not like golf. The minute that the celebrities and the TV cameras pack their bags and leave, out comes the sunshine!
I feel very sorry for the organisers who put so much effort into these international events, which not only promote their own resort, but the Algarve as a whole. What viewers see is a very soggy golfers’ paradise!
But the same adage holds true in a metaphorical sense, too, doesn’t it? It is never one thing that goes wrong, but a bucketful. The other day, my computer printer ran out of yellow ink. No warning, just stopped printing. My printer, a Xerox, has separate cartridges for the yellow, cyan and magenta colours, but I could not even print out in black – nothing. But that was not all.
My brand-new all-singing, all-dancing telephone/answering machine/fax machine ran out of ink, just two weeks after I bought it. Again, no warning, just a flashing light and a message saying I had to refill the ink film. So I could not print out articles I had drafted or e-mails containing important information. I could not print out faxes people had sent me, and I could not send faxes either because I couldn’t print them out! A bit like a fisherman without a net or a rod, bobbing around in the middle of the ocean expecting a hole to appear in his boat to complete the scenario!
My usual supplier of printer ink, who had promised me that, if I had a Xerox printer, they would keep the inks for me, only had blue and not yellow – and I am told this smartie-pants machine can tell the difference between blue and yellow. Twice around Almancil, off to Lagoa for a meeting, stop off at Algarve Shopping on the way back, and then to the Xerox shop in Faro – success at last. Not unreasonably, for the ink film for the fax machine, I returned to Jumbo, whence it came.
“We don’t have any ink for that model, we have been out of stock for months,” I was told. “You know what it’s like, the supplies go into our warehouse in Vila Franca, and the big stores in Porto and Lisbon get supplied first, the Algarve is always bottom of the list.” I only bought the machine two weeks ago, from this same young man who was now telling me they had no ink. I assume that the machine only had a small roller film in it, although there was nothing in the instruction book to warn me about that.
Would it have been totally beyond the realms of customer relations for Jumbo Youth to point out to me that the machine only had a small roller film, which would need renewing quickly? Would it have been so difficult for him to explain that they had not had stocks throughout the summer, so that I could start the hunt for another roller before this one ran out? I went back into Faro and tried various shops without success. It seems that Philips ink films to fit a Magic 2 machine are as thin on the ground in the Algarve as a heavy snowfall. So now I have faxes stored inside the machine – it is clever enough to have the memory to do that – but I can’t get at them!
And then there is the saga of visitors. A couple of friends of mine have invited themselves down for a two-week holiday (for them!). You know the sort of thing. “We found these really cheap flights into Faro, you don’t mind, do you?” I have a little house, so I now have to completely re-organise everything. They will have the main bedroom and en-suite bathroom, and I shall decamp to the tiny single room which doubles as the junk room. And so it starts – get shower taps and curtains put into the second bathroom; clear the piles of ironing off the chest in the double bedroom; get rid of the boxes in the single room – where to? Try to tell the cat who has had kittens in the wardrobe in the main bedroom that there will be strangers in there for two weeks. Clear hanging space and drawer space for two adults for two weeks.
Remember that these people do not drink out of mugs, only cups – make note to buy cups and saucers. They do not use tea bags, only leaf tea, English Breakfast variety – another note. She cannot drink pasturised milk, only fresh. Another note. Try to remember all the other foibles and make arrangements accordingly. Send sheets and bedcover off to the laundrette – and remember to pick them up again! Figure out how the video machine works, because they do not speak a word of anything but English and will not want to watch Portuguese TV.
It will be lovely to see them again, but I am agreeing more and more with that other adage: “Visitors are like fresh fish – they both go off after three days!”
MIXING AND MINGLING
A big “thank you” to all those who have responded to the idea of a get-together for singles. The list continues to grow, and plans are coming together for three separate events in different parts of the Algarve. As soon as the date and location of the first event have been finalised, I shall be in contact with each of you individually. If you would like to be included on the list, and have not yet been in touch with me, please contact me on 966 108 605 or e-mail: judysharp@mail.telepac.pt
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